By Nur Afiqah Bte Mohd Azman
Letting go of pain, fear or something that you love dearly is not an easy thing.
It is not as simple as A, B and C.
It requires lots of emotional maturity to actually let go of things that matter to you.
I would like to share a personal story of my childhood trauma that truly I did not let go of. I have kept the hurt for 26 years and have not really forgiven the person fully.
I worked this out with my counsellor and she encouraged me to write to a letter to my younger self, the time when I was hurt the most during my childhood.
I processed the traumatic pain and figured out the reason for it to have an impact in my life.
I realised that I did not how to cope with high amounts of stress as I was reprimanded for being so slow in my academic progress. It hurt my self-esteem and it affected the way I behaved and how I carried myself throughout the teenage years and adulthood. Due to the traumatic experience, my subconscious actually absorbed the pain and used it protect me from potential pain in the future.
That was how I held strongly to a limiting belief that mistakes were not unacceptable and unforgivable. I had always thought that I needed to meet people’s expectations in order to be accepted by the society. This resulted in immense emotional pain and my self-esteem suffered to the point of invisible bleeding.
After reasoning it all out, it was easier to forgive the person who inflicted the pain and forgive my younger self for not able to cope with the high amounts of stress. I started to comfort my 5-year-old self that everything was going to be okay. I felt like my 5-year-old self was happy again and smiling to me and saying thank you to me. I actually visualised in my head of a room with a door. I heard a child crying. I opened the door and found my 5-year-old self crying. It was painful to see her crying . I approached the child and hugged the child till she slowly stopped crying. You can visualise different scenarios in your mind by closing your eyes first. It is up to you to visualise the type of character and the type of location you are visualising.
This is a type of therapy that rewire your subconscious and release all the self-limiting beliefs. After processing all the traumatic pain, you will feel lighter and will be able to breathe and live again. It will be good to complement this therapy with medications when you are diagnosed with a mental illness.
Bear in mind that it works for me but it might not work for you. Do work it out with your counselor on how to process traumatic pain from the past. All the best and wish you the best of luck!