How Do You Find Self-Worth?

By Nur Afiqah Bte Mohd Azman

The minute you realize your worth, you shift your energy to attract new people who respect your worth. It starts with you first. – Anonymous

Photo by Nur Afiqah Azman on Unsplash

Imagine yourself being insecure about certain things?

What do you always tell yourself when you are looking in the mirror?

I am so fat.

I am not pretty

I hate myself.

I am unworthy.

The list goes on.

Yes, this used to be me.

I could not even look myself in the mirror for 6 seconds.

Weird, right?

When you look at me, I am not fat, I am not close to ugly and there is no way in the world that the above list is true about me.

Be enough of yourself first. The rest of the world can wait – Anonymous


Photo by John Sting on Unsplash


I am still learning how to find my own self-worth and being kind to myself.

Let’s imagine myself as a 5-year-old kid.

I would be thinking now, “ I was so cute and pretty when I was 5 years old. I was such an adorable baby girl”.

I closed my eyes and imagined myself opening the door and found a 5-year-old girl in the room.

The 5-year-old girl was crying and she felt so sad.

I asked her, “Why are you crying?”

She said, “I feel nothing worthy in me.”

She showed me her small scar.

I remembered her scar.

It is still on my left hand.

I am looking at it now.

Photo by Lydia Torrey on Unsplash

I embraced her and told her that the scar had no value to be thinking about.

I told her that everything was going to be okay now. I told her that she was most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

She stopped crying and hugged me back.

I learnt something now.

Self-worth is so vital to your happiness. If you don’t feel good about you, it’s hard to feel good about anything else. – Mandy Hale

I opened my eyes and understood where the problem was.

I have to tell myself that I am enough and I am not ugly to begin with. I have to soothe myself like how I would soothe my 5-year-old self in the room earlier.

So, the next time I am looking in the mirror. I will love myself again.

My family still loves me. My friends still love me. So I have to love myself too.

It is only fair to love myself and embrace my self-worth again.

Close your eyes and speak to your younger self. How would you speak to your younger self?

This is an amazing visualization method when you feel insecurity from the past and you will feel that you are still carrying past emotional baggage that will hinder your self-growth.

You may repeat the visualization three times per day for a week and more until you are able to calm your younger self down.

Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

Next, write a letter to your younger self and keep it in a safe box.

Dear 7-year-old-self,

 You have been bullied numerous times by your school friends. I know how it feels to be bullied and to have your self-esteem crushed into pieces.

But hey dear self, you are an amazing individual who still has dreams to chase after. You have talents that people are waiting to see. You have a lot of good things coming your way.

 It is okay to feel not okay. It is over now. You can get up and feel free to form your own reality.

 Lend me your hand, I will take you to our dreams.

 With Love,

27-year-old self

I believe that self begins with me. It doesn’t matter if other people disapprove of it. Without embracing self-worth, we won’t feel enough and we won’t good about ourselves. Waiting for someone’s approval becomes a habit and this habit is self-destructive. Expecting someone to say that you are enough will not carry any weigh rather then telling your own self that you are enough.

Nur Afiqah Azman on Unsplash

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