My Voices or Their Voices

My name is Nur Syuhada. I am 25 years old this year. I am a shy and introvert person.  At the same time, I loved to go out with my family for an outing. I used to work as an admin assistant for a medical company for the past 6 months and at an airline company for 1 month.


I was at work one day and I started hearing voices and having visions of people talking negatively about me. I was so stressed at work I could not make any friends at all. People think that I was a snob which I am not. I was out of place. It was just a different environment than I was used to.


As it went on, I grew to be furious and at times becoming violent with myself. I hated those voices that seemed to know me better than I do myself. Those voices even seemed to intrude in my personal life.  I was so sure that the voices were other people talking bad things or making negative comments about me. I was so furious at why are they making bad or negative comments. I was so furious. I was asking myself, “Was I really such a bad person as they said?”


I quit my work twice because of the voices. I even admitted myself willingly to IMH which broke my parent’s heart. They cried seeing and escorting me to the hospital and into the consultation room. The doctors prescribed me some pills to take. My parents were so concerned whether or not I had to be on long-term medication and the stigma that is placed on people with mental health challenges. I could not take the bus or the train as I thought people were going to make fun of me.


After all the treatment, like taking medicine regularly and family support, I was able to distinguish the voices better of which is my own or others. My mind became clearer and better. I stopped being paranoid with people on whether or not they are making fun of me. My family supported me through encouragement and finances. My family were determined to cure and heal me as such we went to see healers to get opinions on this matter. My family told me to not be pressurised about the finance status of the family. They told me that I need not go to work or worry about money. They are willing to support me until I have fully recovered.


Now, I am better both mind and body. I love to be able to go out again like before. I am able to take the bus and train. I can now go to a wedding.


All in all, I encourage readers to take medication regularly and seek family support. This is my equation for recovery.


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