Today I am dressed in pink, the colour of youth and innocence. I am neither youthful nor innocent being all of half a century old and having been in compromising situations thanks to my bipolar quirks and quarks which have the annoying habit of defining me.
I am not my illness yet my illness make me – make me do and say the darndest things without any censorship. It makes for quite comical situations I guess and I thank God I have a thick hide and a sense of humour. Being bipolar is not for the weak-kneed or faint-hearted for you may find yourself in various stages of undress in the privacy of your own home or in a prison cell or in a stadium.
Many of my bipolar friends have learned to cringe at their unorthodox antics, blame them on either the mania or the depression, move on and live another day. My illness taught me not to care about what people think of me as I concentrate on what I think of myself. That is all that matters – my opinion about myself is what makes or breaks me. I figure I have only two choices – be kind to myself or be harsh. I choose to love myself, quirks and quarks, all my perfect imperfections.
Acceptance is the key to loving oneself. We accept the way we are created by God with all His Wisdom that we are not privy to most of the time. The events and things that befell us help shape our characters and personalities and yes we are His servants who ultimately surrender to His WILL. What I learned is to trust His Judgement and Decisions and believe that He is All Good, All Kind and All Merciful and has His reasons for making or allowing things to happen the way they do.
Surrendering is the best position you can take. As a created one, we relax and let the All Wise do His WILL. Indeed it is for the best. In the mean time I retreat and relax and chill in pink.